Big Cheat

This afternoon I did a big cheat from my diet.  I was making oat fudge bars and one of the batches looked a little underdone so I thought I should try a little to check.  Instead of cutting a sliver, I took a big piece and ate the whole thing....and then another one.  What in the world was I thinking?  My draw to chocolate gets exceptionally strong when I am PMSing and well, I am PMSing and so I just couldn't stop myself.  I'm a little nervous to see how my body reacts to all that sugar, butter, flour, eggs, and chocolate that I haven't let myself have for two and a half months!

It has been difficult at times to stick to this diet but I have felt a definite divine grace as I've walked through the last few months.  I know I cannot make it through the summer without the help of my God.  He is the only thing stopping me from digging in the freezer and grabbing another oat fudge bar right now.  And really was it worth it?  Why is it we do want we don't want to do?

My life is a little like that these days.  I know I need to continue working out and getting up for my devotions but somehow I find a way to stay up till midnight so I'm less than coherent when my alarm rings in the morning.  And working out....well there's that excuse that there is no ink in the printer to print out my groupon for Great West Fitness.  I guess that excuse is done now that Mike brought home ink this evening.

So what am I saying?  I'm just saying I'm weak.  Just want you to know.  I can't keep it together on my own, and I fail when I try....point already shown above.  I continually need Jesus and I continually try to do it without him.  Thankfully he is ever-patient and ever-kind and ever-loving and will let me start again in the morning.

I guess it's not the falling that matters so much, it's whether we choose to get back up or not.