My first preach is ready to listen to!

I know some of you have been asking when the preach I did would be ready to listen to and it's finally been found and is on the website.  Just go here and then scroll down to June 5th to download it.  I think I might just go for a listen myself.  Let me know your thoughts and feedback.  I know it was my first time so there is a huge learning curve to go on, but I was really happy with all that I have already learned in the process.

Mike and I preaching together

Hey all, for some reason we can't find the preach that I did at the Vineyard but they have put up the Mother's Day story that Mike and I shared together.  Go here to download and hear a little bit of our prayer journey with the twins and Mike's cancer.  God is good all the time!

I'll let you know if we find mine soon!

Cowgirl Cookies

I love checking out food blogs these days especially trying to find something that I can alternate so that I can eat it.  I came across these cowgirl cookies and because they had only 1/2 cup of flour I thought I'd give them a try. 
http://www.foodbuzz.com/blogs/3765520-cowgirl-oatmeal-cookies-

They were awesome!  I did use sugar which I haven't done in awhile but when you are changing so much of the recipe, something's gotta give!  I used egg white instead of an egg and a mixture of brown rice and gluten free flour instead of white flour.  Then I added carob chips instead of chocolate, and of course grapeseed oil instead of butter.  They turned out fabulously for me!  So nice to have a treat....and I realized why I should not make these often because I ate almost all of them!  The kids ate them and we offered them to guests and I ate the rest.  But they were so tasty!

Anyhow, try her version...I'm sure it will be just as tasty as mine : )

Idols of the heart

Our ladies group this past week shared about idols of the heart.  We talked about the idols of this culture and about the personal idols that we have that we put before God.  This is not always a comfortable conversation, especially when we have to face the ugliness of our own hearts.  As we talked and shared and prayed it reminded me of last fall.

After losing our jobs, Mike and I went to a pastor's retreat together.  It was a fabulous week of rest and quiet and healing.  We were able to slow down enough to hear God speak and to make a plan for the future.  I had already been through some counselling prior to that week and had just been back from Haiti where God had done such amazing things in my heart.  So I was feeling pretty good.

We both had done this super LONG personality test before arriving and were going to be given the results of it.  I was ready to go first thinking that I was doing well in the changes I'd made and so didn't think I'd find too much to be surprised about.  Little did I know that I was going to be exposed again to my flaws.  I knew I was hard on myself, but didn't realize how hard until it was revealed to me through my counsellors.  We finished our session and I went upstairs and bawled my eyes out.  Not again!!!  I thought I was getting myself together here and I have so far to go still.

I now realize that I will always have far to go until I meet Jesus face to face.... Anyhow, I decided to go out into the sunshine and spend some time with Jesus.  There he revealed to me his grace and his love for me.  You see in his mercy, he revealed to me the lies that I had been believing about myself.  It wasn't so that he could poke at me and show me how terrible I was.  It was because he came to give me life, and life abundant.  He revealed the lies so I didn't have to keep believing them, so I didn't have to keep living in a box.  He showed me so that I could walk into freedom.

So as I see again some yucky parts of myself coming out, I again look to Jesus who is so faithful to continue the work that he began in me.  He has revealed my heart so that I don't have to continue to live in a way that compromises myself or Him.  What a good God I have.

So as an encouragement to you, if Jesus reveals something that needs work in your life remember that it is only because he loves you.  He wants to see you live a life that is whole and full and completely for Him.  Be encouraged.

"But for you who revere my name, the sun of rightesouness will rise with healing in its wings.  And you will go out and leap like calves released from the stall."  Malachi 4:2

Stretching into who I'm meant to be

So about a week and a half ago my pastor, Gary, phoned me and asked if I'd be interested in preaching the following Sunday.  I wanted to say 'yes' right away but was also a little overwhelmed at the thought.  I asked if I could call back and after some thinking and praying, decided that my initial answer was a good one. 

My preaching experience is quite small.  I preached for the first time in Haiti and only had prepared a very short word.  It was a time of great grace for me and a time where God was showing me how much he loved and accepted me so even though it was a bit of a shaky first preach, I felt at peace and good about it. 

Then Mike and I shared a bit of our story about a month ago in church.  I began to get nervous when I saw all the people pouring into the church, but kept reminding myself that this was just a story.  I can tell my story.  Surprisingly when I got up to speak, I felt very 'at home.'  I wasn't nervous, I had no problem sharing the testimony of what God had done for us and through us when I got pregnant with the twins and Mike was diagnosed with cancer.  Of course, sharing a story and preaching are two different things...

And so I knew this would be a challenge.  But at the same time I felt like it was the next step.  I have taught in lots of small group settings before.  I love to share with young moms and with other women but prior to the two experiences I shared, I just didn't have any experience.  It was such thrill and an encouragement to know that my pastor could see the potential in me and was willing to give me the opportunity to 'try' on his congregation when he was away.  Wow!  And so goes the next week and a half.

I decided on Friday (the whole week before) that I was going to preach on the Discipline of Prayer and the Practical Applications of it.  Sunday confirmed my feelings when Gary spoke on warfare and the power of the word.  And on Monday at my ladies group, there was more confirmation.  But as the days went on and I began to study more and more, I went down a few rabbit trails.  I wrote so much and, all of a sudden, wasn't sure what God wanted to speak through me.  What direction should I go?  What area of my prayer life should I share about??  There is so much I could talk about and I needed to focus it back in. 

My parents took the kids a couple of hours here and a couple more there and then again, and again, to try and give me some undistracted time to study and pray and get it together.  By Saturday I was falling apart at the seams.  I was so confused and Mike was gone away on a Men's Retreat.  I called in re-inforcements and asked a friend to come and help me make some sense of all my information. 

As soon as I started sharing the points that I had initially prepared, she was like, 'Yep, that's it!'  I felt as though I could have preached that preach without it written down so I realized again, that that was the area I needed to speak on. 

I did a lot of praying, studying, reading the bible, and praying some more this past week and a half and the experience was so stretching.  I am so thankful for the opportunity to grow and stretch and learn.  I know that my husband always talks about how long the preaches to take to prepare but I got a first-hand experience on the reality of it!  It was actually fun - other than Saturday! - after my little break-down and when I finally 'saw the light', the Saturday turned out alright!  I knew that that was part of the process; something that I just had to go through in order to re-affirm that this is about Jesus and about what he wants to say. 

Anyhow, Sunday morning came and thanks (again) to my gracious parents, I had an empty house to get ready in.  I had peace all morning and went through my sermon before heading early to the church.  I felt excited and any nervousness, I just let go of and decided to see it as joy and excitement instead. 

The actually morning went smoothly.  It was a beautiful day!  Again, when I got up to preach, I felt 'at home' and comfortable.  I feel so thankful for where God has taken me.  I don't think I would have every dreamed of being able to preach in a church setting but there I was. 

Last year at this time I really don't think I could have done it and if I had I would have had major anxiety and worry about whether people would accept me, the word, etc.  But God has healed me so much in that area, I am amazed at the freedom I had.  I know that I am still a work in progress but, really, what a good God I have. 

I will put the link up when the sermon goes online for any of you who are far away (or close by) who would like to listen.