Open up, ancient gates! Open up, ancient doors!

I have been reading Psalm 24 this evening preparing for Soup and the Spirit tomorrow.  I don't think I'd ever read the NLT version before.

The psalm talks about who can climb the mountain of the Lord - he who has clean hands, a pure heart, who does not worship idols or tell lies....

Then it goes on to say Open up, ancient gates! Open up, ancient doors, and let the King of Glory enter.  I have always wondered about this verse.  What doors and gates are they talking about?  The doors and gates of the church? Of Jerusalem? ....Or of my own heart?

Tonight was the first time I thought it could be my own heart.  There are ancient doors that have been shut for so long to the Lord that need to be opened again to Him.  I'm not even sure what's hiding behind those doors or what that looks like but it goes on... and this is a great part -  The scripture goes on to say 'Who is this King of Glory? The Lord strong and mighty; the Lord, invincible in battle.'  Wow, the Lord is invincible in battle.  That means he can't NOT win!  He wins every time.  No one can beat him; there is no match for him.

I want to believe this!

It's not about purifying our hearts and hands and 'doing' the right things so we can get closer to God.  It's about  letting Him in to us so HE can purify us, so HE can do battle on the things that we struggle with.  It's not about us, it's about HIM.

Imagine how many things we wouldn't be struggling with if we would only believe that the Lord fights for us and He is Invincible!

Me time

So my beautiful girls woke me up at 6am this morning.  Normally I let them go off and watch TV and I roll over for another hour or so before getting up.  This morning I knew that if I wanted to exercise now would be the only time.  So when they rolled out of bed, so did I.  They still got their TV time and I headed to the gym for a quick workout.  It felt great to get out there early and get my workout in. 

Today was for me.  After working out, I packed up the kids - Caleb off to school and the girls to a friend's place to be babysat.  Got some running around done and then headed to the hair salon. 

After picking up the kids again, and Gramma and Papa arrived, I quickly put on some make-up and drove Mike down to Bellingham where we enjoyed a really nice meal together, did a quick shop at Trader Joe's and headed back up to Abby for a late meeting and game time with some new friends. 

Wow, in the midst of all this crazy stuff happening, it was such a blessing to have some ME time!  As people have offered to help with the kids, I've decided to accept.  I know my life isn't that insane or unmanageable but when those blessings come my way, it would be silly to say no. 

So tomorrow will be another wonderful day with the help of a 'free of charge' babysitter to watch the kids as I cook and prepare for Soup and the Spirit.  I'm excited to get ready for our very first Young Adults meeting on Sunday.  I have no idea who will be there or how many people will come but it's gonna be great!

I have excitement for the new things to come in my life and the life of my church. 

Never a Dull Moment

Didn't I just say this yesterday?  There really is never a dull moment with the Fornwalds.  Last night, just as I was sitting down with a cup of tea to pray and relax I got a phone call.  'Just want to say first of all that Mike is OK, but we're heading to the hospital in an ambulance because he hit his head on the ice pretty hard. But everything is OK.' 

Seriously?  My first reaction was calm but then I started to allow worry creep in.  As I was sitting there just getting ready to pray, I thought well, now is a perfect moment.  I prayed for Mike.  I knew that if God could take care of Mike through cancer, he would definitely take care of him through a concussion.  So I prayed and prepared to go off to the hospital to be with him. 

I guess I missed all the drama when he was totally out of it cracking jokes with the lifeguards on hand to help him, and the ambulance drivers.  I posted on facebook that he fell and for people to pray and then headed off to the hospital with my parents here to watch the kids. 

Once I realized he was going to be OK, we started joking and relaxing.  I checked the comments and we had a good laugh when I read that he was already on the prayer chain at the church - my how news travels fast!!

So he has to take a few days off work and rest his brain and his body.  This will be a difficult task for Mike but I know he's got to take it easy if he wants to get well quickly.  If you'd like to pray, pray for that.  Pray for grace for him to rest and relax and not to get going to soon. 

Yesterday we went around the table to say what we were thankful for and I was thankful for our overall health.....and I still am.  We do not have a debilitating disease, terminal illness, broken bones.  Mike has a concussion, but it could have been worse. I am still so thankful to God for his care and protection in our lives and to our family. 

Chicken Pox and Lasagna

There seems to never be dull moment in the Fornwald Family House.  We woke up yesterday morning to finding spots all over Abbi's back and tummy.  Off to the doctor's office for an official check and, yes, it's Chicken Pox.  I know, I know, I'm behind on my immunizations.  She got a mild case of it last year so we thought we were in the clear.  Turns out you can get it again if your first case is mild so here we are.  Today was rough for her.  She was very teary all morning and itchy and uncomfortable, not to mention fevery. 

My mom came over to give me a break and took Sadie for a few hours.  I had hoped to get a good rest in with Abbi but she was too itchy to get a good sleep. 

Despite her day, I still managed to follow through on my fast and make my family and someone else's family dinner.  I kept thinking of the video from Francis Chan where he says, 'If you do something that you feel God is calling you to do, do you ever regret it?' The answer is always No.  If you are obedient, even if you don't see any fruit from it, it always feel right to do it.  I know I would regret breaking my fast just because Abbi is sick and I'm tired but I won't regret keeping it even if I don't get as much prayer time in as I had hoped. 

Our scripture memory verse this week is 'Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, I put my trust in you.  Show me the way that I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.'  Meg shared on Monday about focusing on the 'Show me the way that I should go' part.  In the midst of all the things we need to do in a day, God is there, and he can show us the way in which we are to do those things. 

And so, as I made dinner for my family, lasagna, I thought about that.  God, what should I do with this other lasagna?  Normally, I would freeze it, but it has wheat which means I couldn't enjoy it!  It would be nice to bless someone with it.  Immediately, I thought of my friend Naomi whose husband is away.  Called her and sure enough she didn't have a plan for dinner yet.  The Lord showed me the way to bless her.  So that was a cool moment for me today.  I knew that the lasagna was for her and it felt great to bless her and follow through with what I felt God prompting me to do.

Today is a new Day

Thank you Jesus that your mercies are new every morning.  Yesterday was terrible with all the junk that I ate.  Managing to stay on my sugar free diet, I still had cheesecake and cookies and cookies (all sugar free of course).  I felt terrible but just couldn't seem to help myself. 

But today is a new day!!!  I enjoyed my breakfast of king's kamut bread (Silver Hills) and it was still fresh and soft.  Add a little almond butter and honey and a banana and I was ready for my day.  All dressed and ready to go to the gym when Mike found bumps on Abbi - literally covering her whole back and tummy.  Great, no gym for me today.  I guess I will have to work out here at home.  Today is a new day; normally I would sit on my butt and play on the internet instead of working out if I didn't make it to the gym, but today is a new day.  I'm going to work out...and I'm gonna go do it right now.

Mom, I smell Barbecue!!

That's what Sadie said when she walked inside the door.  The air was thick with smoke, the windows had condensation on them and there was my soup pot...smoking.  I had forgotten to turn down the soup stock before leaving on errands.  It wasn't until an hour into my errands did I realize that fact.  I came home to a charred pot of carrots and celery and chicken carcass...but no fire!  Thank you Jesus! 

This was my first attempt in about five years to make my own chicken stalk.  I've heard it's easy but I've never managed to make one that tasted any good. So, I thought I'd give it a try today seeing how I had a craving for Chicken soup.  My glands have been swollen for a few days and I feel like I'm fighting something off, some soup for my soul sounded delicious. 

I took the pot outside to cool and smoke outside a bit.  Then a thought came into my head from church yesterday.  A lady had come with a word to the front and she said, 'Who wants to burn for Jesus?'  Well, this chicken sure got to burn.  I don't know if that chicken would have chosen to be burned but put in the right element and conditions, he had no choice but to burn.  I think sometimes we say we wanna burn for Jesus but we never put ourselves close to the fire.  We never step outside of ourselves and so we watch while others burn.  We need to reposition ourselves to get right close to Jesus and trust him that though we burn, it's only the old that is burned out, and all that is His, good, new will stay. 

I had to chuck out the burnt good today but the smell will remind me to step closer to the fire, burn the chaff, Lord.

Cheesecake

I had a piece of cheesecake at 9:00am this morning.  Despite having no sugar in my diet I can still manage this feat.  I made a sugar and wheat-free gingerbread cheesecake for a party yesterday and it was delicious I just couldn't help myself.  I wish sweets didn't have this hold on me.  It is still needing to be weeded out of my life. 

I wish I found more satisfaction in chewing on a pepper than tasting a morsel of cheesecake...but I don't, at least not yet, maybe that will never happen. 

For now, I guess I just need to give myself grace.  I know the 9:00am cheesecake raid is not acceptable and I don't feel that great now that's it's been sitting in my tummy.  I know I would have felt better chewing on those peppers.  I know it's a choice, sometimes I just let my flesh decide without thinking of the consequences.

Why does eating have to be so difficult?  Our pastor spoke about Jesus being tempted in the desert yesterday.  He had to choose to say no to things before he could say yes.  I know that this is the case with me.  I want to be changed, moved by and throug him but I know I need to say NO to things before I can say yes...including the cheesecake. 

My mind is having a hard time focusing today.  I'm thinking of Jhonny and Jerry, wondering what will become of them, knowing that I don't want to quit what I've started but also realizing that I don't have enough information to continue. 

It was hard to focus on my devotional today, to pray....I need focus today Jesus.  Please help me.  I know that part of following you is being able to follow through on my daily tasks of caring for my husband, my kids, my house. 

Please left me out of this slump.  I want to live fully, abundantly, not always just getting by.  I want to be the woman you created me to be.